How to build a long-lasting relationship is
probably the one question that all human beings battle with. Relationships, ancient as they are, carry the inherent flaw
of human nature. And our nature is why we
struggle to understand each other and to compromise.
Compatibility is great in a relationship. There are, however, certain irreducible minimums on what is attractive to humans. Kindness is one such example. Regardless of who you are, humans automatically respond to kindness. What then does it take to make a lasting relationship? Do you need to be different, or do you need to be ‘similar yet different’? Buckle up as we explore the ultimate criteria for a lasting relationship.
A kind soul can move you to your tears; a kind soul also makes for lasting relationships. Kindness is an inherent trait that should not be compromised. When you are kind, you look at everyone around you from the eyes of love. You adopt a sense of servitude and treat your partner with autonomy. Everyone deserves a little kindness.
It is repeated time and time again that a successful relationship needs great communication. Whether you live together, love each other or have been married ten years, failure to effectively communicate is the small hole that will sink the ship.
Transparency and vulnerability
Sometimes it is easy to shelter our loved ones
from the world, from our frustrations and from the things we choose to perceive
as our personal battles. What we fail to
realize in these instances is that our
partners don’t always need us to be strong. The ability to be vulnerable with
our partners is not cowardice – it is a true
To be transparent with our partners relieves
them from the mind trips they would have otherwise gone through wondering
what’s going on with us.
Respect is not old-fashioned.
Regardless of how long you have known each other, you only go far when you
realize that your loved one still needs to be respected. Date-times still need to be kept, the simple
things they ask of us still need to be remembered and done.
There is beauty in a partnership that respects
and values the opinions of the all the members in the relationship.
A triad of shared values
If you and your partner do not believe in the same core values, you have no business being together. While there is space for negative ends to attract, shared values are what will keep you together. How do you perceive love? What is your approach to solving arguments? Do you believe in marriage?
Shared values allow lovers to refer to what
they believe in especially in conflict.
A circle of mutual friends
A girl is less likely to be worried about their
man if she knows his company and vice versa. The not-knowing is fertile ground
for worries, wild imaginations, and
problems regarding trust.
Couples that hang together ultimately stay
A dynamite sexual spark
Sex as a tool of love and appreciation is not
overrated. Most couples will point to their relationships going south when they
stopped loving each other physically.
Great fullness for each other
Do you know who you treat and care for? Someone you appreciate. Couples that
remind each other that they are grateful for each other are happier and
ultimately stay together longer.
Affirmation is a love language most people
respond to. A quick “You look good today,” or a simple “I appreciate you,” are all affirmative statements that will
make your partner happier. The more we get reminders that we are loved, the less we
worry about our relationship.
Ability to commit
Commitment only comes second to love in the
important ingredients of a relationship. Loving
someone is easy. Commitment, however, is what defines a lasting union.
Commitment is a choice you make every day. I will love and be faithful. I will
care for my partner. These daily reminders help you stay in line when your eyes
None of us has mastered the art of lasting relationships. When asked, couples that have been together for long confess that they wake up every day and decide to love and commit to each other. So can you!
If you feel the spark walking away, chase it, go on dates, and seek therapy. Life is too short to give up on the things that make us happy.