Despite all the efforts companies put into maintaining a strict business environment, many people find true love exactly there – at work.
Like balancing between your love life and professional career wasn’t hard enough already, now a colleague is starting to show interest in you.
But is she flirting with you, or is she just being friendly?
Do you know how to read between the lines of the mixed signals she is sending?
If you think you are onto something but still can’t be sure, here is a list of some pretty obvious but also subtle signs a female coworker likes you but is hiding it.
She shares details of her private life
Girls tend to share a lot more than guys when it comes to their personal life. If she likes you and she sees you as trustworthy, she will open up to you.
At first, it might be about everyday things, like a movie she just saw or the last awesome book someone recommended. However, if she is really into you, those conversations will start carrying a lot more intimate details in time.
And asks a lot of questions about yours
When a woman is truly into you, she unlocks her inner detective. She will ask you a ton of questions about everything from your childhood trauma to what you did over the weekend to your likes and dislikes.
What makes this different from any other platonic line of questioning is that she is doing it to learn more about you and your life outside of work. She is trying to figure out who you are, what you like, what makes you tick, and most importantly, how she can get you.
If you notice that she pretty much only interrogates you at the office, it’s one of the most obvious signs that she likes you!
She remembers all the things you tell her
Another common clue that your female coworker is attracted to you is when she makes a point to remember everything you tell her. All those answers you give aren’t just going in one ear and coming out the other.
She probably has a special folder in her brain marked as “priority” where she stores everything you share about yourself.
You will notice her casually dropping a comment on something you mentioned, which shows you that she cares and remembers.
She might even remember things you didn’t consider important, but that are important to her and her assessment of who you are.
She shares with you her secrets
The office is the last place anyone thinks of when they have a secret to share. The last thing you want is nosy co-workers all up in your private business.
That is why it is such a huge and meaningful gesture when your female colleague shares her deep and dark secrets and desires with you. They usually do this as a way to let you in and give you a glimpse into who they really are behind the workplace persona.
It also shows that she truly trusts you and feels comfortable enough around you to be open and vulnerable.
She asks other colleagues about you
Another way to tell when your female co-worker is into you is when she can’t stop talking about you with her friends. This includes guys at the office who know you both.
She will ask what your shared colleagues think about you as a way to gauge other people’s perceptions of you. It is also just a lot of fun to talk about someone you have a crush on, which might be another motivation for her to seek the counsel of other people at the office.
This is a bit of a tricky clue to work with unless you have close co-workers who are willing to bring up that your not-so-secret workplace admirer was asking around about you.
She texts and calls frequently
Some jobs require constant communication between colleagues, but if all that chatting continues outside of work at odd hours of the day, there’s more than just business between you two.
If the conversations start getting a little more intimate than they should, it’s probably a sign she is developing feelings for you.
She wants to meet outside of work
Many colleagues attend after-work parties and events, so if she invites you for a drink, it doesn’t mean it’s a date.
However, if she asks you out to a club, a concert, or maybe for a movie over the weekend, and she does it frequently, she might be trying to spend time with you. Who knows, you two might hit it off.
She has your back – always
If she doesn’t strike you like the usual people-pleaser, but she also never says ‘no’ to you, she will go the extra mile.
It can be anything from covering you on your day off or taking your side when another colleague complains about you. It’s undoubtedly one of the subtle signs a female coworker likes you but is hiding it.
She notices even the slightest changes in your looks
Did she give you a compliment about your new watch? Does she like your new haircut?
If you see her showering you with attention and making all those flattering remarks, it’s obvious she is keeping note of what’s going on in your life.
Even though she might be just someone who loves giving compliments, you should know if there is something more than friendship.
Random touches and changes in her body language
Observe her body language. If she is interested in you, there will be significant changes in her usual behavior.
Does she take the longer route to the restroom to walk by your working area? Is she maintaining direct eye contact only with you when you are in a group with other people?
These may be signs of attraction, but you can’t be sure. Well, throw in all the touches that are not so random anymore, and you might be onto something.
She appears flustered or nervous around you
Even the most grown-up adult still gets school-girl reactions around their crushes. So, pay attention to the oldest clue of them all – blushing and flustered behavior.
This is a fantastic way to tell if your female coworker likes you but is hiding it, especially if they tend to be a bit more uptight and serious at the office.
When you are around, she will suddenly lose her cool and get all flustered and nervous. It could be something subtle, like the pink tinge of blushing on her cheeks as she speaks to you. It could also be more obvious, like a complete loss of words when you speak to her or when you are simply around her.
You often catch her looking at you
So, how do you tell if a female colleague is into you? Easy, you will catch her staring at you without even being aware of it. If this keeps repeating, it’s probably more than a coincidence. Plus, if she quickly looks away, she is probably trying to hide it.
She smiles at you a lot
When a woman has a proper crush, she can hardly contain her joy being around you. You may notice that she smiles a whole lot more when you are close to her or chatting her up than when you are separated and doing your own things.
It’s also not just any kind of smile or one of those fake smiles you give your co-worker out of courtesy. It will be something deep and genuine. The kind of smile that lights up her entire face and wrinkles her nose and eyes.
If you see this a few times, then you, my good sir, are the object of someone’s great affection.
Offers to help you with your work
If she likes you, she will come up with the best excuses to give you a hand with your work. Sometimes, this is not possible, especially if your job descriptions are very different, but she will find ways to offer her help.
She may give you advice and suggestions or bring you paper clips if there is nothing else she can do.
Or asks for your help – a lot
Even the strongest and most independent women appreciate a bit of damsel in distress treatment now and then. If your colleague has feelings for you, she may assume this role and give you plenty of chances to play her knight in shining armor.
You may notice that she is suddenly asking you for help all the time. It could be work-related stuff or even casual tasks after-hours.
In addition to the frequency of these requests, another good sign your female co-worker likes you is if the things she is asking for help with are simple tasks that she could probably have done herself.
Just remember that what she wants isn’t necessarily the help but a bit of extra time with or simply around you.
She’s always around
Good luck trying to shake a female co-worker who has her eyes set on you. She will always find an excuse for sitting next to you you or being around you.
“Can I borrow a pen/ stapler/another random piece of stationery?”
“You have such a nice view from your desk.”
“Oh wow, I didn’t realize you like this bar as well.”
These are just a few of the thinly veiled excuses she will use to be around you. Don’t worry, she is probably not stalking you. She just wants to spend time with you, even if she’s not there with you.
However, if it gets too uncomfortable, then you may want to set boundaries.
She’s trying to impress you
Men are not the only ones that have peacocking habits around girls they like. Women do it too, and you will find your female co-worker doing all sorts of weird things to try and get your attention and hopefully impress you.
It could be changes to how she dresses or wears her hair. It could be something subtle, like having conversations about her work wins conveniently loud enough for you to hear.
This is her way of showing you that she is a worthy partner with a lot to bring to the table.
She is flirtatious
Sometimes, when the chemistry is too strong and visible, she dares to throw in some flirty jokes or do an extra hair flip to draw your attention.
Yes, old-school seductive moves, but you have to admit, they work like magic!
In combination with other signs, like the not-so-accidental touches and stares, this is a hint she finds you attractive.
She gives you lots of compliments
Women are typically very forthcoming with compliments. However, you can still tell when your female co-worker is complimenting you in a platonic manner and when they are doing it as a way to drop hints that they are interested.
One clue would be that their compliments are personal and even borderline inappropriate for work. This may happen if she is bold and has no trouble expressing exactly what she thinks and wants.
Another clue is that the compliments could be of things that not many people notice about you. This shows that she is paying close attention to you and notices and appreciates all your little quirks.
You share inside jokes
Every successful office romance is built on a foundation of inside jokes. Don’t take my word for it, just look at how things worked out for Jim and Pam from “The Office.”
You will find yourself sharing silly little jokes based on what you have learned about each other over time. Maybe you have a nickname or a sign you give when the boss is around.
It could be a fun experience you shared that still makes you both smile or laugh when something reminds you of it.
Nothing screams connection and chemistry as loud as laughing together. And you can quote me on that.
She has a nickname for you
Speaking of inside jokes and shared fun secrets, your workplace admirer might also have a special nickname for you. More often than not, this will also be a part of an inside joke where a past shared experience inspired whatever pet name she has for you.
If she is bold enough and your office is not too strict, she may even use the nickname in public while calling out for you. However, most will just keep it a secret between you two, and she will only use it while addressing you privately.
Yep, that “spaghetti head,” “dummy,” or other random nickname is not just for fun. She likes you.
She brings you lunch
If she packs some extra food, she will definitely go the extra mile to let you know she cares about you. You might think she is just kind to you because you are a bachelor with poor eating habits, but if this turns into practice, she, without a doubt, finds you special.
She puts visible effort into her appearance
How do you know if a female co-worker likes you? Well, if she’s interested in you, she’ll try to get your attention. And what’s a better card to play than her looks?
You will notice how she’s started putting a lot more effort into how she dresses or does her hair and makeup.
All of a sudden, she starts experimenting with her wardrobe. Dresses may get more form-fitting or brighter in color, just like when birds want to attract a mate, and they flaunt their best colors.
She gets jealous of your interaction with other female coworkers
You must have noticed how she interrupts your conversations with other female coworkers and tries to be the center of attention. If it feels like she minds you spending time with other people, she is probably jealous. Why would she get jealous of other women if she doesn’t have feelings for you, right?
Your colleagues think so too
Maybe your admirer radar is so broken that they couldn’t tell that a girl liked you if she came to work with a t-shirt printed “I like *insert your name here* a lot.”
In this case, your best bet is to listen to your colleagues when they tell you they think your female co-worker likes you.
None of the other clues that she may be dropping are as subtle as she would like to think. Your colleagues will notice how she lights up and gets flustered while you are around. They will notice how much time she spends around you and how she can’t stop giggling at your dumb jokes.
They will notice way more than you do, so if they tell you that your female co-worker likes you, don’t be too quick to doubt it.
To sum up
In the end, a little word of warning. No matter how tempted and intrigued you feel, remember always to stay a gentleman.
If the chemistry is intense and sparks are flying, try your luck. However, have in mind that some people like to flirt, but that’s where they draw the line.
If she says ‘no,’ it means ‘no.’ There is no space for blurring the lines, especially at work.
What may look like an excellent idea for your love life might be very damaging to your career. Do you think it’s worth risking it all?