As a shy guy trying to find love, things are not always easy. I mean, it is hard enough as a confident guy to muster the courage to approach a pretty girl and strike up a conversation. As a shy guy, you have to do this with all those voices in your head rooting against you.
What if she says no?
What if she laughs in your face?
What if you get up there and freeze up?
The good news is that for the most part, all of this doubt and fear is just in your head!
Naturally, there’s always the chance that you could get rejected, but there is so much to gain from putting yourself out there. And we will help you learn how!
In this article, you’ll find everything you need from how to start an online dating conversation to how to get a date as a shy guy.
18 foolproof dating tips for shy guys
Try some self-affirmation
Being shy and dating is a challenge mainly because most shy guys don’t believe they are worthy of love and attention.
One way to get through this is through self-affirmation. Take the time to look into yourself and pat yourself on the back for all the awesome things you have done.
It could be anything from your career success to that bomb grilled cheese that you made last night. That will help you build your confidence, which will come in handy when dating.
Portray confidence even if you don’t have it
Deep down, most men are painfully shy. Some are just way better at hiding it than others. You can do it too. Just fake confidence until it becomes a reality. However, do not cross the line over to being cocky and unbearable. Instead, find ways to root for yourself in a classy way.
Practice with your friends
If you think you are too shy to date, then a great way to learn how to talk to girls is by practicing on your female friends. This exposure will help you take steps towards getting over any fear you may have of interacting with them, which makes it easier to approach one in a dating setting.
Work on your body language
Girls are very perceptive and can easily pick up on things like eye contact and subtle touch, so make sure to use these tools to your advantage.
Try online dating
One of the best ways to meet women when you are shy is through online dating.
The virtual platform offers a sort of a shield that real life dating doesn’t. You get to drop all your inhibitions and be your authentic self.
So, try it out to meet some girls. And when you are ready, you could move the relationships offline.
The best part is that there are many dating sites for shy guys and introverts where girls make the first move if this is one of your fears.
Find common interests
It is always easier to hold a conversation about something you are genuinely passionate about. So, when you do finally get the courage to chat up a pretty girl, make sure to bring up things that you are both interested in. That way, you will create beautiful back and forth banter, and your shyness will melt away.
Choose active dates
There is probably nothing more brutal on a date as a shy guy than simply sitting facing each other. This is where the nerves are on full power.
With more active dates, you have a lot to help you break the ice and coax you out of your shell for really fun conversations. So, go wall climbing, or on a hike, or whatever it takes to distract you from your shyness.
Here is a list of first date ideas that could give you and your date enough time and space to get to know each other with no pressure.
Try speed dating
The first few stops may be an absolute disaster as you try to talk yourself off the mental ledge. However, as you meet more and more fun dates, you will notice you feel suddenly calmer and more confident.
It also makes dating a lot of fun as you get to meet different girls and figure out what you like without too much pressure.
Live your best life
One of the best ways to prepare yourself for dating as a shy guy is by working on continually improving yourself. Actively pursue your hobbies and professional interests.
This self-growth will give you a boost in your confidence, which in turn makes talking to girls a lot easier.
Continue doing what you love
We are the most confident when we do things that we love and are passionate about. Dating should be the same.
Being a shy guy, the best way to deal with the nerves is by maintaining some sense of familiarity by continuing to do what you love.
You could also find ways to work this into your dates by picking common interests for a more comfortable experience.
Find some extrovert friends
Your friends have a huge impact on you whether or not you realize it. If your crew is all a bunch of equally shy guys, then you might need to do some expanding. Get an extroverted friend or two, and you will soon notice their charisma and confidence rubbing off on you.
Learn how to be the perfect boyfriend
When it comes to dating for shy people. you need to work extra hard to stand out and get women to notice you.
One way to do this is by being what they consider ‘The Perfect Boyfriend.’ That means having the perfect balance between charm, romance, emotional availability, and fun.
Deal with any baggage you might have
Sometimes, your shyness could be tied to some trauma in your past. It could be anything from a past toxic relationship to unhealthy childhood experiences. You may have to actively deal with these before you start your journey of finding love.
Change your attitude to rejection
Rejection is an undeniable force behind extreme shyness in guys. Unfortunately, it is more or less inevitable that you will experience some form of it when looking for love.
Instead of shrinking back into your shell out of fear, learn to take it as a learning experience and an opportunity to find a better and more mutual connection.
It really is not the end of the world.
Change your goals
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself when dating. You don’t have to get her home with you or convince her to date you. Instead, change your goals to things like getting to know her better and building a fun friendship. There is less pressure here, and this allows you to truly be yourself.
Remember girls are human too
Girls are not these mystical creatures just waiting for you to mess up your pick up line so that they can eat you up. They are human too! They are also scared of rejection. And they can be shy too.
So, approach them how you would like to be approached as a human being, and instead of holding them up to impossible standards, get to know them.
Embrace your shyness
Shyness is actually quite endearing to some girls. While it should not hold you back from forming meaningful connections, a little bit of it could help make you more attractive to them.
So instead of hiding behind it like an ugly shield, wear it as a badge of honor while sprinkling in enough confidence to make a perfect balance.
Take baby steps and don’t be too hard on yourself
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a shy guy and being single. It is your personality, and you should feel no pressure to yank yourself out of it. Instead, take your time getting to know and work on yourself. And when you are ready, make a move to have someone in your life at your own pace.