First of all, you have to deal with getting over that long-term relationship that had a not-so-happy ending. It could have been a divorce or something more tragic like a loss, but it will affect you whatever the case.
Then there is the fact that you do not know where to start looking for a new romance. Everyone in your age group that you know is either still married or comfortable staying single.
If you still want to get back to the saddle despite these challenges, welcome back to the game! And yes, the rumors are true; things have really changed. However, there’s a lot of information out there about the dating etiquette for seniors, so you have nothing to worry about!
Below are our top senior dating advice that should come in handy.
But are you ready to date?
Getting back in the dating world can be both exciting and frightening at the same time. Many seniors are hesitant to welcome back love into their lives because they are afraid of getting hurt again.
But there is a way to avoid heartache at a mature age, a way paved with questions that will help you stay honest with yourself and make the right decision:
Are you sure you’re ready?
Whether you are mourning a loss of a partner or coming out of a divorce, you need to give yourself enough time to process the emotions that emerged.
Do you have bad feelings for someone in the past?
Carrying old baggage and holding a grudge against an ex is not the right way to enter a new relationship. The point is to start anew and not bring the past into the future.
Are you interested in meeting new people?
When you are still deeply grieving or coming out of a traumatic breakup, you won’t always be able or in the mood to listen to another person opening up about their life. And that’s okay.
Are you ready to enjoy yourself?
The death of a partner often leaves people feeling guilty for being joyful and happy after such a devastating experience. If you still haven’t made peace with that in your life, maybe you shouldn’t rush into a new relationship.
Dating etiquette for seniors
Like dating in general, etiquette for senior dating gravitates towards common sense and personal safety. Here are some of the basics:
- Dress appropriate – not too casual and not over the top. The best way to go about it is to be yourself and wear something comfortable.
- Share your whereabouts with a friend or relative and your plans for the date.
- Try to compromise about what you want and can do on your date. If you are not too sure about your date’s preferences or abilities, it’s okay to play it safe.
- Take things slowly. There is no need to rush things or put your date into an unpleasant situation.
- Be polite with your date and treat them with respect, even when things aren’t stellar and you don’t seem like a good match.
Now that we covered the basics, let’s dive into the Dos and Don’t of senior dating:
Things to DO when dating as a senior
Join an online dating service or app for seniors
Doing so will increase your chances of finding a soulmate and help you expand your social network and make new friends.
You can actually win some points before the date even happens. Make sure you ask about their needs and whether they need assistance during or before the date. That way, you can accommodate them and ensure you have a great time together.
If this is your first time meeting this person, it’s best to arrange a date in a public place. You can never be too safe.
You could try this dating site: https://www.datemyage.com/ and start to date seniors like you!
Stay open to new people
A few failed dates don’t mean there is no one for you out there. You need to be patient and persistent!
Things to AVOID when dating as a senior
Avoid dating immediately after calling it quits with your ex or after their passing
Give those heavy emotions time to set and adjust to your new reality. Otherwise, you are risking hurting yourself and your potential partner.
If you are already on a date, refrain from going on a long rant about your ex. They were a big part of who you are today, but there is no need to make someone feel like they will never be good enough.
And if they turn out not to be your type, don’t ghost your date. Be straightforward and tell them it’s not going to work. If you just disappear, you may hurt them even more or make them think something’s happened to you
Senior dating tips
Keep an open mind
As a mature person with a lot of experience, you probably know what you look for in a partner, what you are willing to compromise on, and what’s a total deal-breaker. BUT stay open for surprises. Dating out of your “type” has its benefits. Just remember that people who have been out there for a good minute, like yourself, are more like closed shells rather than open books. This is the first of the senior dating rules.
Be honest and open from the get-go
Things have changed since you’ve actively dated. These days, it’s not unusual to be texting or dating multiple people at a time, and that’s absolutely okay if you are truthful about it with your date. Tell them about your expectations of this new relationship and how much you will be able to invest. Ultimately, you don’t want to hurt anyone, so be sincere if you want a serious relationship or just casual dating.
Don’t rush into a marriage
You’ve found someone amazing after such a long time, and you can’t wait to spend the rest of your lives together. That’s awesome, but, as you probably know, a piece of paper won’t stop you from doing so. Allow yourself to meet your partner on a deeper level. It’s hard to notice deal breakers in the honeymoon phase.
Keep your family up to date with your love life
You will be surprised how many adults have unresolved issues with their parents/grandparents dating again. Keeping them in the loop will allow them to accept this new person into the family without much commotion.
Beware of scams
In recent years, seniors have been frequent targets of dating scams. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. If you notice anything suspicious, tell a younger, internet-savvy member of your family or simply break it off.
First date ideas
Asking someone out at your age is stressful enough, but choosing the right location or activity can be a nightmare. There is a lot to juggle when organizing the perfect date, so we came up with a list of ideas for senior dating to take some of that anxiety away. Here we go:
- Go to a restaurant/café neither of you has been before
- See a play together
- Go to a concert
- Organize a picnic in the local park
- Take a cooking class together
- Watch your favorite documentaries and comment after
- Attend a wine and cheese-tasting event
- Drive to a special spot and take funny pictures
- Take dance lessons
- Play some board games
- Have a retro movie marathon
- Cook each other’s favorite meal
- Go on an easy hike
Online dating for seniors
Is online dating just for young people?
To put this answer in the simplest and most direct terms – online dating is for everyone. In fact, there are many dating services dedicated to helping older singles find love. Online dating is one of the best places to meet older women!
There are also many benefits to considering this avenue if you have been unlucky in your real-world attempts at finding love.
In the sections below, you will make the most of your experience as an older person.
Benefits of internet romance for older singles
It allows you to meet single people who are the same age as you
This is especially the case if you decide to use a service dedicated to older people. In addition to connecting you with fellow singles from all over the world, some even help you find perfect matches. This makes it a lot easier for you to nurture a successful relationship.
It opens you up to the possibility of age gap dating
Age gap dating is where you, as the older person, date someone at least ten years younger than you. Many websites cater to this preference.
It could be both for fun if you want a casual relationship or something more long-term. Whatever the case, it is fun and exhilarating and definitely worth considering.
You get to find love from the comfort of your home
One challenge we haven’t mentioned when dating an older age is that there may be mobility restrictions. Perhaps you are sick, in a wheelchair, or just not as fast and energetic as you used to be. This makes things like regular dates a huge challenge.
With online dating, you don’t have to worry about straining yourself physically as you get to know people from the comfort of your couch or bed.
It will bring some excitement to your dating life
Retirement is undoubtedly a well-earned treat, but it can also be dreadfully boring. Trying out online dating will bring some excitement to your life. It could be because of a new flame or simply getting to interact with more than just your home nurse and grandkids.
No one will judge you based on age
Everyone on online dating websites for older people is there to find someone exactly like you; mature, wise, and full of experience. Therefore, you do not have to worry about rejection because you are too old.
The challenges you might face
With so much to look forward to so far, you should already be halfway into filling in your first online dating website registration form.
However, there are a few things you need to be careful about. This is because, despite all its perks, online dating for older people has its fair share of challenges.
Too many options
It might sound weird, but having so many people to choose from can actually be a challenge. It’s like throwing a kid in an all-you-can-eat candy buffet. They probably wouldn’t know where to start either.
In this case, the best solution is to figure out what you are looking for to help you narrow it down.
The Catfish phenomenon
Catfishing can be two things:
- When a person pretends to be/look/sound better than what they are, all while keeping their true identity a secret
- When a person sets up a profile with a fake identity to scam you. Some are so good at it that they even have multiple photos and super believable backstories.
You need to beware of such people on dating websites as you start your journey.
One very effective way of avoiding catfish is by confirming identity through online video chats. It will help you see whether or not the pictures on the profile are actually real and not stolen identities.
Scamming red flags include:
- Love bombing
- Saying “I Love You” way too soon
- Using unusual language
- Avoiding in-person encounters
- Asking for very private information
- Always experiencing emergencies
- Failing to recall details
- Showing only a few photos
- Asking to switch chat platforms
- Refusing video calls
- Always having a devastating background story
- Asking for money
For some reason, scammers on dating websites love older people – because of your age, you already have a target on your back when you sign up. Not because older people are unintelligent and gullible, but because they are not very tech and Internet-savvy.
Their target group often includes women in their late 50s and 60s who are widowed or divorced and live alone without a permanent presence of a younger generation. Chances are, such individuals are often feeling lonely and in need of companionship, and scammers work that angle hard.
Scammers often introduce themselves as soldiers deployed overseas or having a job that keeps them out of the country.
However, these are few and far between, with many dating services cracking down hard on such individuals. All you have to do is take extra care in terms of what you share and choose to believe.
Below are ways to protect yourself against senior dating scams.
- Do not share financial details with anyone you meet online.
- Use a reliable website with strict anti-scamming policies.
- Keep an eye out for red flags in the form of unusual requests.
- Report scammers to the website if you are ever targeted.
Best dating sites for seniors
Senior dating always felt like an afterthought in the dating industry. Now, it seems that alongside technological advancement came the need and opportunity to expand the market and target mature singles looking for love.
One of the best websites that cater to the romantic needs of men and women of senior age is eharmony.com. This is where straight singles in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s come to find their perfect match. Younger individuals looking to date 40+ are also welcome. But if you are after a sugar relationship or casual hook up, this is not the platform for you.
eharmony.com is free to subscribe to and use. However, some website features can only be unlocked when paid for through a credit-based system. There are three credit packages priced from $16 to $300.
eharmony website and app offer a user-friendly experience geared toward mature singles.
The biggest downside is the presence of fake and clickbait profiles that push customers into buying more credits.
Compared to other websites like Match, Our Time, and Single Silvers, eharmony.com offers reliable services for average prices. It is a great service to help you get a first few dates.
Online dating tips for seniors
Noting beats in-person dating, but it doesn’t mean you can’t mingle with people online and feel happy and fulfilled at the same time. Today, plenty of websites focus on senior singles looking for serious romantic relationships.
With a little bit of practice and safety precautions, you can easily navigate the world of virtual dating. Here’s how to do it:
Seek trusted assistance with your dating app profile
There is nothing shameful about not knowing the Internet like the back of your hand. Just like your parents needed your assistance back in the day, now you need your children and grandchildren to help you set up your dating profile, choose a nice picture, and write a compelling bio section!
Don’t be afraid to ask questions
Some people are more guarded and private than others and don’t necessarily share much information on their profiles. This is where questions come in, especially if your potential date hasn’t made clear what type of connection they are looking for.
Be aware of scammers and the cunning tricks they are using. If your gut is telling you something’s off, listen to it.
Whenever you encounter a scammer or someone who shows inappropriate behavior, feel free to block and report their profile.
Leave your comfort zone
Forget about gender rules. Single women are bolder and braver than ever. If you like a nice gentleman, don’t shy away from making the first move!
Online dating is definitely something you should consider as an older single person. The benefits we talked about are just the tip of the iceberg, and there is so much more to enjoy and discover!
Unless you just come out of a difficult relationship and want to stay single. Then, learn how to be happy single after a breakup.
Just remember to be cautious even as you throw yourself back into dating. Above all, be open, be genuine and have fun.